Heh. I was goofing around the 'net and found this link Flyguy
Check it out, its kind of funny and cute.
I think I need to come up with some secial things for this blog. Of course I always have my twizzlesticks website. Guess I'll have to wing some things together. mmmm...wings...
Have you ever gone Blog Hoppin'? Find a blog, start reading it, then jump to their links page and all of a sudden you are reading Blogs from all sorts of people? Sometimes when I begin to read them I sense so much of life that I have missed. That might be one of the reasons why I'm anxious to move onwards. I'm not sure, but I do believe I haven't lived very much nor done many things I've wanted to do or try.
Why the heck am I up so late? *sigh*
I suppose I better wander over towards the bed and sleep.
Sleep, it feels so good when you do it, but I think about all the time it wastes. Just think what I could do with all that extra time! But as I spend day after day with only 4-5 hours of sleep it catches up to me. I'm grumpy and self-loathing. Then I get inside my head and bitch-slap myself for a myriad of stupid reasons.
Ever play Battlefield 1942? EA Games released a mod so you can play a modern day (Desert Combat) version on the same game. Totally free! So I've taken my time up with that a little bit. The weapons are neat, but you die much quicker. It is fun to play the game multiplayer.
More junk tomorrow.
*kisses* to those who want them
Sunday, September 28, 2003
I'm ready to leave I think. Now it is a matter of the right time and where I wish to go. The Southeast part of the US has appealed to me this past year. It is warm, sunny and yet it offers enough percepatation that it won't be like Arizona. Now it is the matter of having the confidence to make the step forward. Although I don't have much here, it is comfortable, but I know if I stay here in Wisconsin, dwelling in all the past I won't run to my future. Having my own Software Consulting business is nice, but I can do that anywhere as soon as I hook up with a couple of clients who are on the bubble right now, one of them would be quite a large contract and I do have Kraft still.
But still I must keep the desire to write something unique and cool that I can feel great about. Right now everything I've started seems like something someone else has done before. I know everything has been written about before, but I want to do something off the beaten path. I'm sure I can find it if I just let my mind go. I used to do it before. I think it will be something where I take all the elements of my creative mind and swirl them together into something not strange, but cosmic to myself. So that when I'm done writing I know I'm onto something good. I've done it before, heck I used to do that with Michelle over the phone/chat. It is a matter of opening my vein and letting the blood go without stopping to wonder how big of a mess it might make and then dabble the excess off at a later time.
Dreams....
I will be here soon....soon and find someone who will appriciate what little talent I have to offer!
me
But still I must keep the desire to write something unique and cool that I can feel great about. Right now everything I've started seems like something someone else has done before. I know everything has been written about before, but I want to do something off the beaten path. I'm sure I can find it if I just let my mind go. I used to do it before. I think it will be something where I take all the elements of my creative mind and swirl them together into something not strange, but cosmic to myself. So that when I'm done writing I know I'm onto something good. I've done it before, heck I used to do that with Michelle over the phone/chat. It is a matter of opening my vein and letting the blood go without stopping to wonder how big of a mess it might make and then dabble the excess off at a later time.
Dreams....
I will be here soon....soon and find someone who will appriciate what little talent I have to offer!
me
Saturday, September 27, 2003
Something from the top of the brain tonight...
Nipples. Hard erect nippes were all he could think about. His tongue danced across pink tips growing larger with each wet kiss he gave them. Soft mounds of flesh rippling beneath him as he wedged his cheeks between them and licked the perfumed skin. The faint wisps of moans encouraged him to continue with his kissing. Drifting his hands up and down her body, he slithered down her torso until he found her small belly button. For a few moments he twirled his tongue in the small chamber while his hands reached up and found the two pink buds he raised from the dormant state they laid in only a few moments before. Her legs shifted and soon parted. Her body dissolved into the bed, giving him the open invitation to explore her farther. In a whispered rhythm, her breath sang as his lips touched the few strands of hair before the entrance of the grand temple she had opened to him. A gleam of excitement coated the soft pink doors. His fingers trembled as his gentle touch tickled the outer edges of her woman treasure. She groaned as he teased her over and over until she grasped his hand and forced it against her wet desires. A smile crept over his face as his finger slide in and out of her while his thumb brushed against the roof, massaging her clit. Juices flowed making a soft slapping sound as he thrust faster into her soft tunnel and rotated his thumb against the slick nub of her most sensative spot.
The sound of the alarm clock woke Pete up from his vivid dream. After a few moment of gathering consciousness he not only realized he was erect, but his right hand was wrapped around himself. For the past weeks he had woken up this way. Always about a woman he had seen the previous day. It could have been a glance, a short greeting or an extended conversation. They were all strangers in his life, but the deeper the contact, the more likely he would explore them deeper while he slept. All very private from the rest of the world, including his wife.
His wife moaned then reached over and shook him, "Pete, its time to get up. Turn off the alarm this time."
He clicked the music off from the radio, rubbed the small gristles of sand from his eyes and stumbled to the dresser to search for some clothes. Still erect, he stood facing away from his wife. She tossed over in the bed, her back to him. He glanced back at her and shook his head in disgust and retrieved his suit from the closet.
Nipples. Hard erect nippes were all he could think about. His tongue danced across pink tips growing larger with each wet kiss he gave them. Soft mounds of flesh rippling beneath him as he wedged his cheeks between them and licked the perfumed skin. The faint wisps of moans encouraged him to continue with his kissing. Drifting his hands up and down her body, he slithered down her torso until he found her small belly button. For a few moments he twirled his tongue in the small chamber while his hands reached up and found the two pink buds he raised from the dormant state they laid in only a few moments before. Her legs shifted and soon parted. Her body dissolved into the bed, giving him the open invitation to explore her farther. In a whispered rhythm, her breath sang as his lips touched the few strands of hair before the entrance of the grand temple she had opened to him. A gleam of excitement coated the soft pink doors. His fingers trembled as his gentle touch tickled the outer edges of her woman treasure. She groaned as he teased her over and over until she grasped his hand and forced it against her wet desires. A smile crept over his face as his finger slide in and out of her while his thumb brushed against the roof, massaging her clit. Juices flowed making a soft slapping sound as he thrust faster into her soft tunnel and rotated his thumb against the slick nub of her most sensative spot.
The sound of the alarm clock woke Pete up from his vivid dream. After a few moment of gathering consciousness he not only realized he was erect, but his right hand was wrapped around himself. For the past weeks he had woken up this way. Always about a woman he had seen the previous day. It could have been a glance, a short greeting or an extended conversation. They were all strangers in his life, but the deeper the contact, the more likely he would explore them deeper while he slept. All very private from the rest of the world, including his wife.
His wife moaned then reached over and shook him, "Pete, its time to get up. Turn off the alarm this time."
He clicked the music off from the radio, rubbed the small gristles of sand from his eyes and stumbled to the dresser to search for some clothes. Still erect, he stood facing away from his wife. She tossed over in the bed, her back to him. He glanced back at her and shook his head in disgust and retrieved his suit from the closet.
Friday, September 26, 2003
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Hi
I've started a couple of new stories, but nothing to write home about. One I think I'll end up tossing, but I got a few hundred words down which helped. The other I started yesterday and I think it has potential, but I need to come up with some better plot drivers than what I'm thinking. Right now there is nothing extroidanary about it, but I'll let my subsconscious work on it and see how it goes.
Blogging has become such a big deal it seems, how its supposed to be done and all that. I think I should change my blog. I'm not liking the orange.
I found a bunch of music cd's I made a few years ago. Brings back a ton of memories, but sometimes its neat finding old treasures that you think a lot about, but have mentally misplaced.
I just tried but it wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be.
me
I've started a couple of new stories, but nothing to write home about. One I think I'll end up tossing, but I got a few hundred words down which helped. The other I started yesterday and I think it has potential, but I need to come up with some better plot drivers than what I'm thinking. Right now there is nothing extroidanary about it, but I'll let my subsconscious work on it and see how it goes.
Blogging has become such a big deal it seems, how its supposed to be done and all that. I think I should change my blog. I'm not liking the orange.
I found a bunch of music cd's I made a few years ago. Brings back a ton of memories, but sometimes its neat finding old treasures that you think a lot about, but have mentally misplaced.
I just tried but it wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be.
me
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
Hrm....Wine, maybe I should get drunk all the time like the great writers. Drugs inspire dontcha know? Nah, I can't find myself to do that. Drinking alone isn't fun.
"Kisses through the phone" I remember writing it, but I can't seem to find it. I might have it on a back up CD someplace, but for the life of me I cannot find it. If anyone has it can they email it to me please? *smile*
I'm not so certain that I have the lack of ideas, but the confidence to sit down and write something people will enjoy. Bah. Not everything I write is all that wonderful so don't go there. I read Hemmingway's book "The Garden of Eden" a few weeks ago. It is quite a book espicially written in its time, of course I enjoyed it because it had an interesting sexual side to it all. However there were many other main ideals to the story. It is amazing the characters he created with such depth. I've always enjoyed his writing when I read him in high school and college, so easy to read, yet so powerful.
Anyways the main character of the book is a writer. I enjoy seeing how writers protray their own craft and the nuiances they give to the characters that do write.
I still enjoy that Anne Rice Book the most. Gawd what was it called, about the older artist who gets captivated by the young woman. "Belinda", thanks oh powerful Google. That book confirms the desire I can have and yet most people don't get that someone can feel so much for someone. Could you imagine being in love with someone so deeply they stir your soul to create things you never thought you could ever attempt?
Nothing gets done by talking about it.
Less mouth more work.
me
"Kisses through the phone" I remember writing it, but I can't seem to find it. I might have it on a back up CD someplace, but for the life of me I cannot find it. If anyone has it can they email it to me please? *smile*
I'm not so certain that I have the lack of ideas, but the confidence to sit down and write something people will enjoy. Bah. Not everything I write is all that wonderful so don't go there. I read Hemmingway's book "The Garden of Eden" a few weeks ago. It is quite a book espicially written in its time, of course I enjoyed it because it had an interesting sexual side to it all. However there were many other main ideals to the story. It is amazing the characters he created with such depth. I've always enjoyed his writing when I read him in high school and college, so easy to read, yet so powerful.
Anyways the main character of the book is a writer. I enjoy seeing how writers protray their own craft and the nuiances they give to the characters that do write.
I still enjoy that Anne Rice Book the most. Gawd what was it called, about the older artist who gets captivated by the young woman. "Belinda", thanks oh powerful Google. That book confirms the desire I can have and yet most people don't get that someone can feel so much for someone. Could you imagine being in love with someone so deeply they stir your soul to create things you never thought you could ever attempt?
Nothing gets done by talking about it.
Less mouth more work.
me
Monday, September 22, 2003
"Ever dance with the devil in pale of the moon light?" - Joker
Nothing but empty thoughts whenever I try to write. I wrote a poem, but I was unimpressed by it. I figured if I do any writing at all I could be stimulated into some meaningful action. It is a ncie theory I hope I can put it into practice. Little by little and inch by inch I need to get myself turned around here. I'm done feeling sorry for myself and my situations. It is time to stop playing games and get on with what *I* want to do.
So I'll just need to pull out that list from time to time and remind myself what it is *I* wish to accomplish and start working on it each day.
Should I write some love story? Fantasy? Real-time Fiction? Should I return to old ideas or process new ones in hope it will carry me through to the end? SOmetimes I feel like I'm trying to climb a mountain using 8lb test fishing line.
Oh well, today will be better than yesterday, right?
me
Nothing but empty thoughts whenever I try to write. I wrote a poem, but I was unimpressed by it. I figured if I do any writing at all I could be stimulated into some meaningful action. It is a ncie theory I hope I can put it into practice. Little by little and inch by inch I need to get myself turned around here. I'm done feeling sorry for myself and my situations. It is time to stop playing games and get on with what *I* want to do.
So I'll just need to pull out that list from time to time and remind myself what it is *I* wish to accomplish and start working on it each day.
Should I write some love story? Fantasy? Real-time Fiction? Should I return to old ideas or process new ones in hope it will carry me through to the end? SOmetimes I feel like I'm trying to climb a mountain using 8lb test fishing line.
Oh well, today will be better than yesterday, right?
me
Saturday, September 20, 2003
Its about time I have another update since its been almost a week. Life has changed significantly in the past few months I'm not sure how I can ever begin to explain all the affects the ripples of change has washed over my life. Right now I'm in a limbo. Waiting for the right time to make the move. It all started last month...
The truth unfolds to my blog...
In the beginning of August, I sped away with my things in my car. A few dollars in my pocket with my last paycheck, tax return and some money I made fixing some software for Kraft on the side. I had the opportunity to go anywhere, be anything and I chickened out. I went to Texas to see if I could find Michelle and as it turned out she was otherwise engaged. I don't blame her, I hadn't spoken to her in months, but I guess I hoped I would be able to get an apartment and start showing her how much I still loved her. We were supposed to meet the next day, but I knew it wasn't in her heart to do so, there was no sense of joy or hope that I had arrived in Abilene.
I'm sure one day I'll find someone who I'll really love once again, but she will always be the love of my life, the person I will always remember that I was stupid to let slip away because of my own insecurities. But I still can't help thinking about her everyday and wondering what if... There are no what if's in life and I need to move on I suppose.
2003 has been wicked. The whole Sandy thing at the begining of the year, car having major repairs, my son moving in with me and then both my kids moving to Nevada, losing my job and topping it all off with the fact I wasn't strong enough to venture out on my own. Now I'm out of money and I have to wait again until I grab some sizable income. I've got a job offer that should retain me some of that cash by Oct or Nov and if I bill out a sizable chunk, I'm going to move to the south-east and live someplace warm.
You thought I was going to say start over? Nope. Starting over starts now. I haven't wrote anything of any importance in the past six months or so. I get a flash of motivation, but then it dies out. I've turn 39 last month and what do I have to show for my life? Mid-life crisis I suppose one might think I have achieved and they would be correct.
What do I want?
1. Write 1000-2000 words a day
2. Get in even better shape.
3. Move someplace I want to be.
4. Smile more.
5. Find someone who I can connect with in all areas of life. Be picky about this.
6. Have fun.
7. Learn to play guitar better.
8. Did I say write?
9. Work hard at my job.
10. Pierce my ear? hehe
There are so many things in life that can get in the way of what we want. Yesterday I found a book of positive quotes. I'm not sure if it was inspirational, but the thing I got out of nearly all of the quotes was that no one in my life can 1. make me happy or two get me to achieve anything but myself. I can't rely on a 'perfect someone' to do it. My perfect someone should be my partner, not my coach, child or anything else. And someone I can sink all my emotion and energy into as well. I don't need to put up with someone, but rather find the other half as those are want to call their mates.
I have such energy....I hate to be stagnant.
I'll go now.
The truth unfolds to my blog...
In the beginning of August, I sped away with my things in my car. A few dollars in my pocket with my last paycheck, tax return and some money I made fixing some software for Kraft on the side. I had the opportunity to go anywhere, be anything and I chickened out. I went to Texas to see if I could find Michelle and as it turned out she was otherwise engaged. I don't blame her, I hadn't spoken to her in months, but I guess I hoped I would be able to get an apartment and start showing her how much I still loved her. We were supposed to meet the next day, but I knew it wasn't in her heart to do so, there was no sense of joy or hope that I had arrived in Abilene.
I'm sure one day I'll find someone who I'll really love once again, but she will always be the love of my life, the person I will always remember that I was stupid to let slip away because of my own insecurities. But I still can't help thinking about her everyday and wondering what if... There are no what if's in life and I need to move on I suppose.
2003 has been wicked. The whole Sandy thing at the begining of the year, car having major repairs, my son moving in with me and then both my kids moving to Nevada, losing my job and topping it all off with the fact I wasn't strong enough to venture out on my own. Now I'm out of money and I have to wait again until I grab some sizable income. I've got a job offer that should retain me some of that cash by Oct or Nov and if I bill out a sizable chunk, I'm going to move to the south-east and live someplace warm.
You thought I was going to say start over? Nope. Starting over starts now. I haven't wrote anything of any importance in the past six months or so. I get a flash of motivation, but then it dies out. I've turn 39 last month and what do I have to show for my life? Mid-life crisis I suppose one might think I have achieved and they would be correct.
What do I want?
1. Write 1000-2000 words a day
2. Get in even better shape.
3. Move someplace I want to be.
4. Smile more.
5. Find someone who I can connect with in all areas of life. Be picky about this.
6. Have fun.
7. Learn to play guitar better.
8. Did I say write?
9. Work hard at my job.
10. Pierce my ear? hehe
There are so many things in life that can get in the way of what we want. Yesterday I found a book of positive quotes. I'm not sure if it was inspirational, but the thing I got out of nearly all of the quotes was that no one in my life can 1. make me happy or two get me to achieve anything but myself. I can't rely on a 'perfect someone' to do it. My perfect someone should be my partner, not my coach, child or anything else. And someone I can sink all my emotion and energy into as well. I don't need to put up with someone, but rather find the other half as those are want to call their mates.
I have such energy....I hate to be stagnant.
I'll go now.
Thursday, September 11, 2003
9-11 I suppose there are many sappy Blogs about the significance of this date and while I sympathize with those who lost people and what this nation went through, I have my own issues to deal with. I don't suspect anyone will read this since it has been almost six months to the day since I last posted.
How is my writing coming you ask? Non-existant! Don't worry I clobber myself up everyday that I haven't written anything. I'm not even sure if I'm supposed to be a writer. Another birthday passed and yet I'm no where closer to achieving anything I want.
I'll shut up now...I need more time to ponder what I'm going to write here.
How is my writing coming you ask? Non-existant! Don't worry I clobber myself up everyday that I haven't written anything. I'm not even sure if I'm supposed to be a writer. Another birthday passed and yet I'm no where closer to achieving anything I want.
I'll shut up now...I need more time to ponder what I'm going to write here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)