Its her birthday. So I cooked up something fun and good for her.
She has no idea what to expect. I've written a couple of notes for her to read, but all they do is hint at how much fun she will have. Nothing. No one knows what is going on.
When she wakes up she will get ready for the day. On the table she will find an envelope. Her best friend will guide her through the day (with video camera). When she opens the letter she will find a note telling her where she is supposed to go. When she gets there, she will enjoy the 'package' and at its end, she will receive another colored envelope telling her where she should proceed to next.
1. Full Body Massage
2. Manicure and Pedicure
3. Red Lobster (she will share an appetizer with her friend).
4. Mall - At the service desk she will receive another card telling her to get something naughty and nice along with a gift card.
5. Ice Cream Parlor within mall (after 1.5 hours or so)
6. New Trek Bike (her big gift no hints)
7. Home to put on "Nice" clothes
8. Meets me at the spot where we had our first kiss.
The rest of the evening includes us going to the restaurant where we had our first date. Then we will retire to a suite at a hotel with a whirlpool. I will of course will decorate the room before hand with lots of birthday/romantic gestures. I hope she got something naughty!
I hope I can pull this off. I hope she has fun.
cya laterz
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live."
Fear. It grips me like a predator clutching its prey. I can scream, thrash and carry on about how I hate it, but it keeps it's jaws implanted into my thoughts. For as long as I can remember I've never been able to handle its effect on me. From the time when I was a child until even now. Sometimes I don't even know I'm afraid until after I missed the event.
For me, fear comes in many shapes and sizes. It can be as simple as a fear of heights, flying or someone who I feel has power over me. It tends to make me back down, become passive-aggressive and wilt from the things I want to do or enjoy. Thus I continue to conclude that I do not handle my fears very well.
A month or so ago I heard about a book called, Unleash the Warrior Within. Now I'm not a huge promoter of self-help books, but the interview on the radio got me thinking that I could really understand and use this book to help me accomplish the things in my life. So I bought it last week.
Right now I'm to about page 90. And I have to say that I'm impressed. If you check the book out, you have to realize the author is an ex-Navy SEAL. He started his own form of martial arts and everything has a military edge to it. He doesn't talk down or make you examine the way you are, rather he is giving advice on how to change your life so you can focus on the things you want and thus make you happy.
Fear is a nasty weapon in both physical and emotional states. Somehow I have to overcome my fears so I can produce the life I really want, because I know I'm letting it slip away.
****************************************
Its been a tough week, I've been through a lot of shit both good and bad. I know a few people pop in and out of this blog and it makes me happy to see a few do stay in touch to see what I'm up too. I've struggled with what I should be putting on here. It tends to be a personal journal entry rather than informative, entertainment or whatever else pass for blogs these days. So I'm often reluctant to post since it turns into a lethargic entry about what I'm dealing with in my head.
Thanks for dropping in Kat and Etain. I have to admit that I can't place exactly who you are Etain, but I'd like to find out. Anyways if you do drop by from time to time and want me to post more, let me know. If not no worries.
cya laterz
moi
For me, fear comes in many shapes and sizes. It can be as simple as a fear of heights, flying or someone who I feel has power over me. It tends to make me back down, become passive-aggressive and wilt from the things I want to do or enjoy. Thus I continue to conclude that I do not handle my fears very well.
A month or so ago I heard about a book called, Unleash the Warrior Within. Now I'm not a huge promoter of self-help books, but the interview on the radio got me thinking that I could really understand and use this book to help me accomplish the things in my life. So I bought it last week.
Right now I'm to about page 90. And I have to say that I'm impressed. If you check the book out, you have to realize the author is an ex-Navy SEAL. He started his own form of martial arts and everything has a military edge to it. He doesn't talk down or make you examine the way you are, rather he is giving advice on how to change your life so you can focus on the things you want and thus make you happy.
Fear is a nasty weapon in both physical and emotional states. Somehow I have to overcome my fears so I can produce the life I really want, because I know I'm letting it slip away.
****************************************
Its been a tough week, I've been through a lot of shit both good and bad. I know a few people pop in and out of this blog and it makes me happy to see a few do stay in touch to see what I'm up too. I've struggled with what I should be putting on here. It tends to be a personal journal entry rather than informative, entertainment or whatever else pass for blogs these days. So I'm often reluctant to post since it turns into a lethargic entry about what I'm dealing with in my head.
Thanks for dropping in Kat and Etain. I have to admit that I can't place exactly who you are Etain, but I'd like to find out. Anyways if you do drop by from time to time and want me to post more, let me know. If not no worries.
cya laterz
moi
Monday, March 05, 2007
Hot English Tea anyone?
Life has tasted like a used tea bag dunked in lukewarm water. It hasn't been all that bad, but then again, life hasn't offered me anything new and unusual.
Have you ever mentally mapped out your life by your decisions and actions. I'm not talking about using Google maps. If I would have done this or had handled that situation better, I would not be where I am today. Where is a relative term, it could mean location, but I really mean your emotional state. Hell it could even be spiritual. Pun intended!
I seem to battle with all three aspects of my being. I've come to realize how I fear rejection. I have one or two reactions. The desire to have someone/thing is so overwhelming I chase it away or I realize it can't be mine so I hide within myself. I've always been an all or nothing sort of guy. The problem with my approach is I find most times I end up with nothing.
Over my life I have found that I have let things slip through my fingers because of my absence, not because of my aggression. ("It's better to burn out then fade away.") I feel defeated when things don't go my way. Any form of rejection slides me into a reclusive attitude. This is not good when dealing with relationships.
Women don't want a man who crackles under pressure. Melancholy is not a sexy attribute. Do I become introverted because how she is treating me or is she treating me because I crawl into my own head? Probably a bit of both, since nothing is always black and white. But my reactions helps propel this circular cycle. It then becomes where I must become mentally tough and rise above these things and realize that rejection (a broad term of how I feel I'm being treated) and continue to treat women with a sense of passion and confidence I display when I first met them.
Maybe a slower start would help make it last longer. (No not sex you perverts!) Pace myself through the relationship so that I've not extinguished my fervor. But keep the fire burning at an easier temperature so that we both feel warm and fuzzy inside.
All in all, I think I need to do a better job of paying attention to her rather than myself. If I do a better job of that, then I will reap the benefits I want. It really does become that simple, the hard part is putting yourself aside and trying to reach into that pretty heart of theirs and sensing what will really make them happy.
Laugh a lot more!
cya laterz
moi
Have you ever mentally mapped out your life by your decisions and actions. I'm not talking about using Google maps. If I would have done this or had handled that situation better, I would not be where I am today. Where is a relative term, it could mean location, but I really mean your emotional state. Hell it could even be spiritual. Pun intended!
I seem to battle with all three aspects of my being. I've come to realize how I fear rejection. I have one or two reactions. The desire to have someone/thing is so overwhelming I chase it away or I realize it can't be mine so I hide within myself. I've always been an all or nothing sort of guy. The problem with my approach is I find most times I end up with nothing.
Over my life I have found that I have let things slip through my fingers because of my absence, not because of my aggression. ("It's better to burn out then fade away.") I feel defeated when things don't go my way. Any form of rejection slides me into a reclusive attitude. This is not good when dealing with relationships.
Women don't want a man who crackles under pressure. Melancholy is not a sexy attribute. Do I become introverted because how she is treating me or is she treating me because I crawl into my own head? Probably a bit of both, since nothing is always black and white. But my reactions helps propel this circular cycle. It then becomes where I must become mentally tough and rise above these things and realize that rejection (a broad term of how I feel I'm being treated) and continue to treat women with a sense of passion and confidence I display when I first met them.
Maybe a slower start would help make it last longer. (No not sex you perverts!) Pace myself through the relationship so that I've not extinguished my fervor. But keep the fire burning at an easier temperature so that we both feel warm and fuzzy inside.
All in all, I think I need to do a better job of paying attention to her rather than myself. If I do a better job of that, then I will reap the benefits I want. It really does become that simple, the hard part is putting yourself aside and trying to reach into that pretty heart of theirs and sensing what will really make them happy.
Laugh a lot more!
cya laterz
moi
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