Monday, March 13, 2006

Screwed Up

Well I didn't make it today. Sigh. I feel like a failure on days like these. When I miss simple goals it frustrates me. I do know that I have to try and meet them tomorrow. Write, play guitar and continue to succeed with my business. Usually work comes first, but then I don't even get the chance to do the other two. I'm either running errands or figuring out what else I'm responsable for that I forgot to do. I'm last on the list of important things.

Thursday night I was supposed to go to a writer's group. Not sure what that will accomplish, but I figured it might 'inspire' me to do something. Guess what, I can't. I guess there is always tomorrow(next month). The past few months that the way things have seemed to go. *whine*

The other thing running through my veins is playing my guitar. I haven't been able to put much time into it since Christmas, but it is really starting to bug me that I'm not playing enough to get good (decent) at it. Tomorrow I'm going to play come hell or high water. And no I'm not going on a tangent on where water rises before hell comes.

I have been doing some work writing as we are getting some blogs going, but I had scatter brain while I wrote the first draft so I'm going to start over.

cya laterz

Monday, March 06, 2006

Posting

I mean to post more. I really do. I even mean to email people more often, but somehow the day gets swallowed up in assine tasks. Some of these tasks are self-inflicted, like a cutter. I do a good job of hiding my 'tasks' under my long sleeved excuses shirt. I feel like the man with all of the good intentions and yet I am not able to produce.

There is a writing group in the area I'm thinking of checking out. You know the kind of thing where you go share your work, they ooo and ahhh over it and then come up with some notions about how it could have been better if you had done this or that. I'm hoping to use it as a springboard into action. I'm my own worst critic and if you've read any posts on this thing you realize this is a major topic of mine. I keel my writing passion because I'm more worried I'm not going to write anything good enough. And yet I've actually come to realize, that I don't have anything to really say.

I'm thinking writers are sneaky preachers. For most they want to get their view across about something. Major themes are issues that writers take on to expose to the world. How am I going to contribute anything to the great debate. Hell I don't even know what to debate. I feel like an intellectual pea in the garden of life. I squish real easy.

But yet deep in my bowels (eeeewwww as someone used to say to me and then giggle), I know there is something lurking ready to be exposed. I wonder what makes people expose themselves. Espicially in the winter time. And while I know in New Orleans if you throw beads or drinks at women they will expose themselves it isn't the same as a man wearing a large overcoat flashing himself. Does someone wake up one day and decide the world needs to see his naked body? Is there a process of deciding what day that is? Do they practice in front of the mirror? And if they do practice, are they sure that other people want to experience the same thing? Now what the hell was I trying to say?

There is something there and I keep coming back to that spot in my soul where there is something worth telling. I know it is about to come forth soon. And the worst part, because I haven't been really crafting my story writing I might not be ready for it. I suppose I should go prepare the brain for this upcoming event.

Cya Laterz