This random post is brought to you one strange guy. I'm not even sure what I'm going to post about, but I wanted to write at least something. Not like I've been aggressively working on anything in particular. It seems I'm always working on nothing wasting my time on planet earth. I do try to work hard and make something of my business. We put together a nice promo cd, had the label printed professionally, and it looks pretty swell. I'm pretty tired I think I'm gonna head to bed.
cya laterz
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Happy go unlucky
Happiness is a state of mind that most conservatives consume. Liberals are not as happy. I heard this on the radio on the way back to Appleton. I used to brand myself as a conservative because I liked the idea of less government in our lives. But it doesn't matter which politcal party invades the government, we get screwed either way.
BUT...in the matter of me verses happiness. This becomes my choice and not those that are around me. I can choose to be who and what I want to be, it is their choice to flee. My dreams, goals and ambitions are all I can control. I once thought it never mattered what other people think, damn them all. I'm going to do what eye want to do. Guess what. My self-observation on this subject required a readjustment of thinking. It is eye who cares so much about what my inner circle cares about that I stumble into a state of inactivity. Unsure of what to do, how to please or sometimes how to act I'd rather slink into submission and not worry about crazy notions of success. And by success I mean doing what I am thinking, dreaming or trying to achieve.
Now that I've woken up. It now occurs to me that I have the ammunition to do whatever I want and stop caring about those who wish me in my little box. In reality I'm sure they would tell me that they want me to be 'myself', but secretly enjoy that I am in my place. My place is where I'm not a threat to unbalance the customary journey through life. You know what. This journey has sucked for me. I'm not happy with many of the paths I've choose. The funky thing is I can't blame anyone, but myself.
Things will change. I've done it before on smaller scales. I've challanged myself before and done it by strength and fortitude. Now its time for me to rise up off the bench and get in the game. (sheesh what a tired cliche') I now know that I'm not judged by you or anyone else. My judgement comes from myself. I will conquer life.
What is good in life, Bob?
"To crush your enemies, to drive them before you and to hear the lamentations of their women."
Inner demons beware. I'm about to get medieval on your asses.
cya laterz
BUT...in the matter of me verses happiness. This becomes my choice and not those that are around me. I can choose to be who and what I want to be, it is their choice to flee. My dreams, goals and ambitions are all I can control. I once thought it never mattered what other people think, damn them all. I'm going to do what eye want to do. Guess what. My self-observation on this subject required a readjustment of thinking. It is eye who cares so much about what my inner circle cares about that I stumble into a state of inactivity. Unsure of what to do, how to please or sometimes how to act I'd rather slink into submission and not worry about crazy notions of success. And by success I mean doing what I am thinking, dreaming or trying to achieve.
Now that I've woken up. It now occurs to me that I have the ammunition to do whatever I want and stop caring about those who wish me in my little box. In reality I'm sure they would tell me that they want me to be 'myself', but secretly enjoy that I am in my place. My place is where I'm not a threat to unbalance the customary journey through life. You know what. This journey has sucked for me. I'm not happy with many of the paths I've choose. The funky thing is I can't blame anyone, but myself.
Things will change. I've done it before on smaller scales. I've challanged myself before and done it by strength and fortitude. Now its time for me to rise up off the bench and get in the game. (sheesh what a tired cliche') I now know that I'm not judged by you or anyone else. My judgement comes from myself. I will conquer life.
What is good in life, Bob?
"To crush your enemies, to drive them before you and to hear the lamentations of their women."
Inner demons beware. I'm about to get medieval on your asses.
cya laterz
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Master-plan
Do you masterbate? Yes, I do. It isn't a hobby or something I wake up in the morning looking forward to doing. But sometimes there isn't much I can do about my sexual drive. I don't want to get personal (heh like I haven't already), but masterbation to me is like eatting cotton candy. Sure its quite sweet, but the high is quick and the thrill is over way too soon and all you have is a sticky mess you have to clean up yourself.
However, what else do you do to release the sexual frustration built up? The desire to have someone so close is insatiable. An evil thought passes your mind when a sexy woman bends at the waist. Your eyes rivet to her ass. Tight slacks snug against a round butt. You want to run your hands over the fabric and pull her close to feel how hard you've become by watching her. The fantasy doesn't stop there and every woman passing by becomes a new dream sequence and I paused a moment and wonder how she would be in bed.
Which then leads me to believe that I am a dog. Men are dogs. They will screw any bitch in or out of heat. But in reality it is more the thrill of what is wanted rather than forcing myself into the situation. For example, I followed a thirty something woman in the mall on Monday. She was about five feet five, nice and fit and wore a smart business suit that looked really nice on her. Her hair was cropped at the neck, but it was one of those straight, short with a bit of a wave to give a hint of sexuality to it all. Her boots clicked on the mall floor as she carried her bags towards the exit. Before I even noticed what she carried I was intrigued. But even more so when I noticed the Victoria Secret bag and I knew someone was a damn lucky man.
But I took it that extra step and wondered how she acted in and out of the bedroom. A deadly combination of smart and put together on the outside, but a spice of danger that allowed her to be completely open to her lover. So open she bought a cute outfit for a night of passionate sex. Then my fantasy ran wild and I imagined what it would be like with someone so giving. Willing to give themselves to the experience. When the cold blast of air hit me, I reverted back to reality and I knew I was back to reality.
Now you are wondering if I pictured her when I masterbated. Of course I did. Isn't that what masterbating and fantasies are all about? I suppose if my situation were a bit different I wouldn't have to waste my energy on something made up. And that is what makes the act of masterbation more of a frustration than it solves. I'm left to clean up the mess without the complete satisfaction of feeling....spent.
cya laterz
However, what else do you do to release the sexual frustration built up? The desire to have someone so close is insatiable. An evil thought passes your mind when a sexy woman bends at the waist. Your eyes rivet to her ass. Tight slacks snug against a round butt. You want to run your hands over the fabric and pull her close to feel how hard you've become by watching her. The fantasy doesn't stop there and every woman passing by becomes a new dream sequence and I paused a moment and wonder how she would be in bed.
Which then leads me to believe that I am a dog. Men are dogs. They will screw any bitch in or out of heat. But in reality it is more the thrill of what is wanted rather than forcing myself into the situation. For example, I followed a thirty something woman in the mall on Monday. She was about five feet five, nice and fit and wore a smart business suit that looked really nice on her. Her hair was cropped at the neck, but it was one of those straight, short with a bit of a wave to give a hint of sexuality to it all. Her boots clicked on the mall floor as she carried her bags towards the exit. Before I even noticed what she carried I was intrigued. But even more so when I noticed the Victoria Secret bag and I knew someone was a damn lucky man.
But I took it that extra step and wondered how she acted in and out of the bedroom. A deadly combination of smart and put together on the outside, but a spice of danger that allowed her to be completely open to her lover. So open she bought a cute outfit for a night of passionate sex. Then my fantasy ran wild and I imagined what it would be like with someone so giving. Willing to give themselves to the experience. When the cold blast of air hit me, I reverted back to reality and I knew I was back to reality.
Now you are wondering if I pictured her when I masterbated. Of course I did. Isn't that what masterbating and fantasies are all about? I suppose if my situation were a bit different I wouldn't have to waste my energy on something made up. And that is what makes the act of masterbation more of a frustration than it solves. I'm left to clean up the mess without the complete satisfaction of feeling....spent.
cya laterz
Monday, February 13, 2006
V Day cometh like a hurricane
Valentine's Day approachth. I want to flee from it like a wet cat from a
half-full tub of cold water. I'm cold, wet and tired of fighting for it. Yes
fighting for love. Hell, I'm willing to bet that I don't even know what
love is. No. I'm chasing love. Now if I could only find it.
Part of me has lost what it means to be romantic. I used to think I'm
a pretty good at delivering romance to a beautiful woman, but now
its difficult. Not coming up with ideas, but coming across with
execution. It seems so fleeting. I know women really love romance,
but does it get remembered? Or is it like a sports season, its exciting
when its happening, but when the games are over, its almost like it
didn't happen.
Love is fleeting, but then it turns into a relationship and love doesn't cut it anymore. Like sludging through mud, slopping the mundane shit off your shoes so that falling into the bed is an enjoyable process time and time again. Life seems to suck all the energy and when do you have time to spend with that other person? I'd love to begin the day with sex, but precious sleep is wasted because you are only getting 5-7 hours a night as it is.
Valentine's Day is the cumulation of romance. Sex is supposed to be rewarded for the ingenuity of what type of rommance is dreamed up. But I'm not there this year. I have a ton of neat ideas, but I'm not into it.
Happy V-Day to you all. My cynical look at romance should not dissuade you from having a great time with your spouse, lover or 'good' friends. I know I'm jaded and I figure one of these days something will happen where I will have a much better outlook on it. But for now I'm delving into the darker recesses of my mind and livin g there.
cya laterz
half-full tub of cold water. I'm cold, wet and tired of fighting for it. Yes
fighting for love. Hell, I'm willing to bet that I don't even know what
love is. No. I'm chasing love. Now if I could only find it.
Part of me has lost what it means to be romantic. I used to think I'm
a pretty good at delivering romance to a beautiful woman, but now
its difficult. Not coming up with ideas, but coming across with
execution. It seems so fleeting. I know women really love romance,
but does it get remembered? Or is it like a sports season, its exciting
when its happening, but when the games are over, its almost like it
didn't happen.
Love is fleeting, but then it turns into a relationship and love doesn't cut it anymore. Like sludging through mud, slopping the mundane shit off your shoes so that falling into the bed is an enjoyable process time and time again. Life seems to suck all the energy and when do you have time to spend with that other person? I'd love to begin the day with sex, but precious sleep is wasted because you are only getting 5-7 hours a night as it is.
Valentine's Day is the cumulation of romance. Sex is supposed to be rewarded for the ingenuity of what type of rommance is dreamed up. But I'm not there this year. I have a ton of neat ideas, but I'm not into it.
Happy V-Day to you all. My cynical look at romance should not dissuade you from having a great time with your spouse, lover or 'good' friends. I know I'm jaded and I figure one of these days something will happen where I will have a much better outlook on it. But for now I'm delving into the darker recesses of my mind and livin g there.
cya laterz
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