Happy go unlucky

Happiness is a state of mind that most conservatives consume. Liberals are not as happy. I heard this on the radio on the way back to Appleton. I used to brand myself as a conservative because I liked the idea of less government in our lives. But it doesn't matter which politcal party invades the government, we get screwed either way.

BUT...in the matter of me verses happiness. This becomes my choice and not those that are around me. I can choose to be who and what I want to be, it is their choice to flee. My dreams, goals and ambitions are all I can control. I once thought it never mattered what other people think, damn them all. I'm going to do what eye want to do. Guess what. My self-observation on this subject required a readjustment of thinking. It is eye who cares so much about what my inner circle cares about that I stumble into a state of inactivity. Unsure of what to do, how to please or sometimes how to act I'd rather slink into submission and not worry about crazy notions of success. And by success I mean doing what I am thinking, dreaming or trying to achieve.

Now that I've woken up. It now occurs to me that I have the ammunition to do whatever I want and stop caring about those who wish me in my little box. In reality I'm sure they would tell me that they want me to be 'myself', but secretly enjoy that I am in my place. My place is where I'm not a threat to unbalance the customary journey through life. You know what. This journey has sucked for me. I'm not happy with many of the paths I've choose. The funky thing is I can't blame anyone, but myself.

Things will change. I've done it before on smaller scales. I've challanged myself before and done it by strength and fortitude. Now its time for me to rise up off the bench and get in the game. (sheesh what a tired cliche') I now know that I'm not judged by you or anyone else. My judgement comes from myself. I will conquer life.

What is good in life, Bob?

"To crush your enemies, to drive them before you and to hear the lamentations of their women."

Inner demons beware. I'm about to get medieval on your asses.

cya laterz