It seems like I've been working two jobs the last few days as I've tried to get the notes together for the Nor-lake proposal and contuing to work on my current project. I struggled with a bug today that I finially conquered. So we can send a release off to the customer tomorrow after I spend some time with an accountant.

The problem is that I haven't felt like doing much writing the last couple of days. I did get a nice chunk done Monday night. This is Wedensday right? I want to think it is the day before. Time seems to be fleeing quicker than I can count it. Although sometimes I feel like it is a blessing. Get my time in and then I can check out. Heh.

Other than working, life has been pretty drab. Haven't been able to do a whole lot. I'm trying to backup my DVDs, but that is a slow process. It take about an hour for each one and it eats at the cpu so I try to start the large stretches of time when I know I'll be afk or something.

babble babble babble....

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Wow. I got some writing done last night. That is what I'm supposed to do, right? I took a hot bath, read my Snoopy book and an idea struck me. The nice thing about it was I ended before I got into the meat of the idea so I can start writing without thinking too much tonight. I'm exercising my writing brain. I think it got winded last night. I don't want to pull anything or I might be out another 2-3 weeks. I might lose my starting job. Heh.

On a side note, my writing time might be a bit limited for the next couple of weeks. I have to do a huge proposal for a company I used to work for when I was at MG. They made a list of about 50 items they want fixed or their software to be able to do. I think I'm bidding against other companies, but I think I have the inside track position since I've worked on the project before. The proposal has to be in by March 12th.

"Don't quit your day job."

I wish I could find more blogs of writers I enjoy reading. I combed through the one I found last week and it is funny how she describes how she is wringing out what characters do and argue about.

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Lost in Translation and Anything Else are the two most interesting movies I've seen in a long time. When I watched them, something in the back of my mind was shouting, 'What the hell are we watching?' and yet I shut the voice off and finished watching the movies. Both had interesting qualities that made you think and I as I digested the films they endured themselves to my heart. I still hope Return of the King wins best picture, but Lost had its moments. It contained very visual scenes of Tokoyo and Japan.

Anything Else of course was about a writer dealing with a strange relationships. Why is it that writers are protrayed in this way? Not saying I've not been involved in my share, but geez it is like a moth to flame? While I'm not a fan of Woody Allen's work, I only watched it because I enjoy Jason Biggs. I guess to my surprise I did relate to Jason Bigg's character from time to time.

I watched Roxanne this morning. It only confirms the fact that Steve Martin is a genius. I hope one day I get to meet him before either one of us loses our mental facilities.

Yesterday sucked. I can't even describe how bad it sucked. When the words come or more likely brave enough to spew the events out maybe I'll spill the beans. I wandered the town alone last night. Glad I'm not prone to drinking. Ended up at a movie theater, watched Welcome to MoosePort and then went to my sanctuary Barnes and Noble. I'd rather have gone home, but that wasn't a possibility at the moment. I did pick up "Snoopy's Guide to the Writing Life."

Tommy turned 17 Friday. I turn 40 this summer. Time keeps on ticking right along. Guess it is about time I realize there isn't anything I can do about that.

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Broken Music is a great auto-biography of Sting. It isn't so much about the music, but rather what he went through to make it big. It is a good read. I think he'd make an excellent novelist, he uses metaphores and other writing skills you find in good writers.

My computer went *blank* last night. I'm under the crunch for work and I lost a lot of work when it froze. Then I tried to reboot it. Sometimes it would come on and then reboot for no reason. I had a heat issue. I went to the computer store and bought a new fan. So far it has ran stable except for one time, but I was burning a DVD at the time so I was stress testing it a little. But everything seems to be fine, but realize I'm not trying to overclock it.

So what I'm trying to say is that I haven't had a chance to do much writing at all. *sigh* That bums me out. I haven't been able to practice the guitar as much either. I spent most of the day on the phone so even when I did get my 'puter up I wasn't able to work. Guess it is going to be a long night tonight.

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Sting, Broken Music , is worth checking out. I bought the book this weekend and it starts out quite interesting. I haven't gotten real far (50 pages or so), but i'm enjoying it. I'll probably finish it in the next couple of days. Although I have to becareful because I'm in the middle of three other books. Heh.

I bought a couple of other books, On becoming a novelest , A Throne of Storms , and The Sex Chronicles they should keep me busy for the next week or so. Of course that the Throne series is a large book so that might take me a while.

I didn't get much writing done this weekend. I've been working so much I pretty much took the weekend off from almost everything. Heh.

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I've come to a realization that my blog isn't very popular on the net. Of course I'm not linked from many sites/blogs out on the net, but then again I don't have a ton of links from my page either. This might mean something, but I'm not sure what at this time. In reality it doesn't really matter since this is all shit that goes in on my mind which usually only has to deal with my neurotic tendenacies about my ability to write or in most cases not write.

Maybe I should spew hard Right or Left wing politic views and get people in an uproar about Gay Marriages or who did something about weapons found or not found in Iraq. Nah. That really isn't in me to do. Then I'd have to pay attention to the news. There are too many other things in life to waste time on than that. Wasting time. Well I guess I wouldn't consider much of what I've been doing lately as wasting time. But then again other than some work getting accomplished I also don't see a lot of progress on some of the things I wanted to have completed.

Have you ever read laurellkhamilton books? I've read all of the Anita Blake series and the last book is the best of all. Sometimes the descriptions of things are over the top (espicially clothes, but I'm not gonna go there), but Narcissus in Chains is a wonderful book. I admit this book is filled with violence, lust and sheer imagination. Since I've read the first nine books I must have enjoyed something about them. For the first time in the series she seems to have let the characters do what you think they should have been doing long ago. This means more sexual contact. Not that I have to read something with a lot of sexual overtones (or blantant sex), but it gives the story an edge espicially when they are vampires and they feed off lust like they do blood. She has another series as well that I've started (the first two books), but she only has three books out so far.

I shoudl go to sleep. I haven't slept well in the past few weeks. It has been a combination of sore legs, half-awake dreams and wishing I held my Valentine in my arms. That day will come I know. Patience she tells me.

*night*
me

I've been trying to rediscover my writing ability again. I'm like the Muslums taking my yearly journey to Mecca. Not that I know much about this spiritual walk, but I know I return to this habit of mine quite a bit. I have to reaffirm to myself that yes I can write and yes I must try and succeed at it. It is a daunting task for me. I'm not quite sure why it is. During these funks I reread many of the writing books I have collected over the years to remotivate me.

It is different these days. I'm not wallowing in my own self doubt. This time I've reread some of my work. The poetry, of course I stay away from because when I read some of it I wonder why I tried to be so cryptic. But that is for another discussion. What I do know is that I can write a reasonable story I can enjoy. Take in point The NightClub. Although written with a heavy sexual tone, I find a lot of the elements of a good story. I know some of you will roll your eyes at that last comment, but I don't believe I'm in Hemmingway's company, but I think I did a decent job on it. And I surprised myself along the way.

I'd also like to point out that I'm writing. I think I'm onto something special, but I have to remind myself that I can pull this off. I get these ideas in my head that can span a lot of things and I'm afraid I can't pull it off. I can only write one word at a time and see if I can do it.

me

Four months since I've posted anything here. I'm a little doubtful anyone will check to see if this still exists, but I'm not doing it for anyone other than myself. If you, my dear reader, find this along your web surfing adventers then let me warn you of the content below. Grissle. The tough hard look at my inner self undaunted by anyones ideas of who I should or shouldn't be.

But this too shall pass.

The horse is dead and buried. The topics I broached in previous posts months ago are history. I'm looking for change and a better life. Work is going well and I'm busy. I think I could get busier, but to be honest it isn't all that important to me other than to provide me and my kids what we need to live until I marry that someone special I have.

I'll write more, but suffice it to say. I've found everything I've wanted. Now I have to be patient (insert doctor joke here).

*wave*