The End of Summer

I've been doing some thinking lately. Hey! I saw that collective eye roll. I know that I over analyze my life, but who else's life should I think about? I do think about my kids and other people, but when you have the quiet moments in life and you wonder, what the hell am I doing? It is all about you, baby.

I've been in those type of moods lately. I listened to a radio show about creating goals for your life. You know the kind of thing that makes you list out what you would like to accomplish before you die. I started my list and I hope by the end of the weekend I have compiled a significant list of the things I either want to do, be or get before I become too old or die to realize them. Studies have shown (sorry no link and too lazy to find) that creating goal lists do help you focus on what you want to do. Some people think they are full of shit. I think it is good to have your eye on the prize and realize what you are trying to attain. By attaining that 'goal' I would think your life would become more fulfilling.

This summer has been pretty boring. I usually spend summers doing many things. This summer I've either been short on cash or short on time. This weekend is going to be a simple summary of this summer. I'm going to the ren-faire on Saturday, but I have to be back in town that night. I'm also not really going to have the money nor the time to do what I would really want. Which again has summed up my summer.

Yes I do read and appreciate all the comments. It makes me feel good a few people out there read my drivel from time to time.

cya laterz
moi

Birthday Suicide

It is that time of year...another year older, but I often wonder if I'm getting any wiser. I still enjoy many of the things of my youth, but now my time is consumed by responsibility. I hate that word. Not that I don't mind working, paying bills, and etc. But life usually consists of dealing with money. I get sick of it.

Money then becomes such an issue that every other area of life becomes affected. When you don't have enough money, how can you pay for those lap dances at the club? Er...I didn't say that out loud did I?

Yet the day approaches and I'm often thinking about my death instead of life. Not that I assume I'm going to die nor am I planning too (despite the title of this post). What am I not doing that I want to do? Right now my life is consumed by work and the lack of sex. Yes, if I don't have sex daily, I consider it a lack of sex. Not only am I deprived I'm depraved as well.

What then is the meaning of my life? I'm at a loss for what that means to me. My kids? Writing? Or simply enjoying what I have and not worrying about what I'm missing out on?

BTW: My son found out he is getting deployed to Iraq on Nov 24th. He is going to Baghdad. He says he is coming home for about 10 days or so in October. I'm really nervous about it.

cya laterz