Sunday, November 06, 2005

I wrote this bit tonight...Do you sense a pattern?
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Chilly air trickled in from the small opening of my window. It tickled my nose and I grabbed the blankets and pulled them up to my chin. I closed my eyes and imagined you lying next to me.

In your slumber a smile had crept upon your lips. Taking care not to wake you, I turned towards you. Temptaton stired and I desired to touch every part of your body, but I composed myself. Your perfume from the day before aroused every sensual muscle that had yet to waken. Closer I leaned until I noticed your nipples pressed against your red satin nightgown. I resisted the temptation to draw a light circle around them to see if they would grow further. While I drank in your body, inside my mind I heard your laugh, your pleasant sigh and the way you said my name. Your smile grew as I realized you did speak my name. Your hand reached up and held the side of my face while I melted up against your warm body. That was how I wanted to wake up.
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Yesterday I started the short story for the contest. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to finish it in time. It isn't something I usually write, but at least it is something, huh?

I had a terrible weekend. I'd rather be anywhere but here kind of weekend. With winter coming it doesn't help. I can't think of any place to go anyways, so I realize as usual I'm stuck. That probably sucks the worst of it all. For most of my life, I had often wondered what I wanted to be when I grew up. But in the long run the question has always been, what will make me happy. And after all this time and searching I only found a glimpse of it once and I pissed it away. Now all this time I've felt lost going from day to day hoping for the spark of the unusal to grab my attention. I used to be happy. I think I've forgotten how that even feels let alone how to attempt to be in that state of mind. Maybe it has passed me by and I'm looking downhill to the end of my life without hope. Probably not, but sometimes it really feels like that.

outta here for now

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