Last night, I didn't sleep all that well. I had the weirdest dreams about two women and manufacturing of some pipe product. I'm sure there is some Freudian statement to be said about that last sentence, but I will let it pass.
One of the things which struck me was they were prostitutes. A blond and a raven haired beauties, but remarkable in that they were very skinny and wore white underwear. The blond girl showed them to me at every opportunity she got. The act of sex cost me $75, but I never really dreamed of the actual act. I did often think about it and how tight her panties stretched across her butt and pussy. I envisioned a lot of camel toe.
Every time I woke up I was excited. Nothing I could do about it and felt very frustrated. When I drifted back to sleep, the dream continued. I worked at a place that manufactured some sort of pipe and I came up with a new product. I hired these girls to help produce it, but they only wanted to work because they wanted to be near me. Everything had a sexual connotation.
I think the dream really means that I'm a pervert and all I do is think about sex.
Some people think that is a bad thing...I'm not sure yet.
cya laterz
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Monday, June 04, 2007
Icky Poo
I know its almost been a month since my last post. I haven't felt so keen about posting. In truth I haven't had much to look forward too except for issues and problems.
I'm seriously thinking of giving up my software business. This is going to kill me. I know I can do the work, its just that work is too far and few between right now. In the past six months, every time I feel like I have landed a large contract, it either drags on forever or the interest vanishes.
I've been approved for a large contract this month, ($40,000 or so) and another $4,000 in July. I might have another job worth around $10,000 in the next few weeks. And the proposal I did in Feb/March with the company in Florida is still up in the air. That would be worth around $20,000. If...and that is a big IF they all came in this week I'd be saved. Of course I'd need another potential customer or two in the next month or so to start the long process as well. It seems to take a year to get anything big going. The smaller jobs are nice, but only if I have other means of income coming along the way.
I feel like I'm losing everything and I can't grab onto one specific thing. Nothing is exempt from my life as far as confusion and utter hopelessness is concerned. I often feel like I make one mistake after the other trying to fix it. It seems as if I clean up the shit in one room only to track into the rest of the house.
I wonder what I should do. I can't even think straight any more. I don't even know who to talk to get my head on straight. I thought things were supposed to be easier as you get older. It gets worse...at least for me. I'm tired of myself and the decisions I make. And now I put off making decisions and it is hurting me.
cya laterz
I'm seriously thinking of giving up my software business. This is going to kill me. I know I can do the work, its just that work is too far and few between right now. In the past six months, every time I feel like I have landed a large contract, it either drags on forever or the interest vanishes.
I've been approved for a large contract this month, ($40,000 or so) and another $4,000 in July. I might have another job worth around $10,000 in the next few weeks. And the proposal I did in Feb/March with the company in Florida is still up in the air. That would be worth around $20,000. If...and that is a big IF they all came in this week I'd be saved. Of course I'd need another potential customer or two in the next month or so to start the long process as well. It seems to take a year to get anything big going. The smaller jobs are nice, but only if I have other means of income coming along the way.
I feel like I'm losing everything and I can't grab onto one specific thing. Nothing is exempt from my life as far as confusion and utter hopelessness is concerned. I often feel like I make one mistake after the other trying to fix it. It seems as if I clean up the shit in one room only to track into the rest of the house.
I wonder what I should do. I can't even think straight any more. I don't even know who to talk to get my head on straight. I thought things were supposed to be easier as you get older. It gets worse...at least for me. I'm tired of myself and the decisions I make. And now I put off making decisions and it is hurting me.
cya laterz
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Threequels
This summer boasts many returns to the big screen in part three of who knows how many. Last night I saw the first of the many blockbusters that are due out this summer, Spidey 3. I have a mixed reaction to the movie. I think it dragged on a bit playing out the whole Mary Jane and Peter Parker relationship, but it was neat to see that in the end the three friends were together.
I also have to be reminded that it is based on a comic book. Sometimes trying to be too true to the comic can make it corny at times. I cringed at some of the other actors in the movie. Especially when the news team gave 'live' reports.
The guy who plays Sandman got buff for the movie. I remember him on Wings a LONG time ago and he was pretty scrawny. He has some muscle in his arms for this movie. Then again it could be visually enhanced.
All in all I didn't feel cheated for the money I paid. It wasn't the be all, end all movie, but it was a good time. And the humor they added from time to time helped as well although I did like the 'bad' Peter Parker than the overly nice guy. Heh.
Shriek 3 and Pirates is coming out yet this month. I'm really looking forward to Pirates and if the trailer they played was any indication, the audience applauded for it. I think that's going to be the 'BIG' movie this summer. That is if they can pull it off. We are thinking of dressing up in our pirate duds for that movie. Although I don't know if I can sit in a movie seat with my sword stretched out in front of me. (Quiet you with the dirty minds!)
cya laterz
moi
I also have to be reminded that it is based on a comic book. Sometimes trying to be too true to the comic can make it corny at times. I cringed at some of the other actors in the movie. Especially when the news team gave 'live' reports.
The guy who plays Sandman got buff for the movie. I remember him on Wings a LONG time ago and he was pretty scrawny. He has some muscle in his arms for this movie. Then again it could be visually enhanced.
All in all I didn't feel cheated for the money I paid. It wasn't the be all, end all movie, but it was a good time. And the humor they added from time to time helped as well although I did like the 'bad' Peter Parker than the overly nice guy. Heh.
Shriek 3 and Pirates is coming out yet this month. I'm really looking forward to Pirates and if the trailer they played was any indication, the audience applauded for it. I think that's going to be the 'BIG' movie this summer. That is if they can pull it off. We are thinking of dressing up in our pirate duds for that movie. Although I don't know if I can sit in a movie seat with my sword stretched out in front of me. (Quiet you with the dirty minds!)
cya laterz
moi
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
The price of life
What is the price of a human life? Do the residents of a certain country or culture assume to value life higher than another? When the tragic events at Virgina Tech rippled through this country we were all shocked and horrified that someone could be that insane to do something so terrible. As a nation we were outraged that one man could kill over thirty people and injure a couple of dozen of others. We wanted answers, justice and the ability to stop anyone else that might attempt such a heinous act again.
Yet in other parts of the world, war, famine and other senseless acts of violence happen on a daily basis. When we read that over three hundred people died in a car bombing or thousands of people in Africa are getting slaughtered for their heritage or beliefs we yawn, turn the channel to see what the weather will be like and sip on our coffee. But in the back of our minds we really wonder if gas prices are going up again.
We can't get involved, its not our country or our people, so its not our problem. However, when that country has natural resources we canexploit use, we are eager to pony up money, manpower and all the rest of our resources to make it right. No matter which side of the political fence you sit upon it should make you sick that people are persecuted for a variety of reasons.
We try to teach our children to do the right thing. In a household with many children, you expect the older kids to lead by example, but what nation is leading by example in our world today? It isn't about doing the right thing, it is all about protecting interests. Treating people with respect and dignity is clearly towards the bottom of our list of priorities. Watching innocent people suffer and die is okay because it is none of our business.
Hotel Rwanda
The Last King of Scottland
Watch these two movies back to back and then go to any of your favorite news sites cnn.com, foxnews.com, msnbc.com and check the world news. Somewhere in the world some extreme act of violence has taken place. There are THOUSANDS of acts of violence towards humanity going on that are NOT getting reported. Check this out happening in North Korea (link may go underground soon). People are persecuted for race, religion and anything else because someone in power doesn't like that about them.
We Americans think we have evolved as a society. Social rights have been extended to many Americans and we often scorn those who deny liberties to minorities. Yet still some things have yet to become obsolete. Check this link out about a school in Georgia. We have not gone very far in this country to think we can ignore the events in the rest of the world. We offer the same injustices, the same prejudices and the same hatred for one another. Its no wonder we don't care what happens to people thousands of miles away when our own people are treated with disrespect.
cya laterz
moi
Yet in other parts of the world, war, famine and other senseless acts of violence happen on a daily basis. When we read that over three hundred people died in a car bombing or thousands of people in Africa are getting slaughtered for their heritage or beliefs we yawn, turn the channel to see what the weather will be like and sip on our coffee. But in the back of our minds we really wonder if gas prices are going up again.
We can't get involved, its not our country or our people, so its not our problem. However, when that country has natural resources we can
We try to teach our children to do the right thing. In a household with many children, you expect the older kids to lead by example, but what nation is leading by example in our world today? It isn't about doing the right thing, it is all about protecting interests. Treating people with respect and dignity is clearly towards the bottom of our list of priorities. Watching innocent people suffer and die is okay because it is none of our business.
Hotel Rwanda
The Last King of Scottland
Watch these two movies back to back and then go to any of your favorite news sites cnn.com, foxnews.com, msnbc.com and check the world news. Somewhere in the world some extreme act of violence has taken place. There are THOUSANDS of acts of violence towards humanity going on that are NOT getting reported. Check this out happening in North Korea (link may go underground soon). People are persecuted for race, religion and anything else because someone in power doesn't like that about them.
We Americans think we have evolved as a society. Social rights have been extended to many Americans and we often scorn those who deny liberties to minorities. Yet still some things have yet to become obsolete. Check this link out about a school in Georgia. We have not gone very far in this country to think we can ignore the events in the rest of the world. We offer the same injustices, the same prejudices and the same hatred for one another. Its no wonder we don't care what happens to people thousands of miles away when our own people are treated with disrespect.
cya laterz
moi
Saturday, April 21, 2007
The Life
I learned something last week about my writing over the past couple of weeks. Idea driven stories suck. I also realize I'm in too much of a hurry to get my work "seen" and I lose a lot of details when I do that.
For my next project I'm thinking I need to find someone who I can write about and write his or her story. Imagining a scene and then trying to introduce the characters leaves the plot and the emotion flat.
This brings me to my next topic, I usually know what is 'right' or 'wrong' with my stories when I post/give them to people to read. When I get honest feedback I rarely get a criticism or an atta boy that I didn't expect. It is my job then to pour over the items I already know are weak and fix them. Often I'm in such a hurry to be 'read' that I don't take the time to fix these and other minor things and the story falls flat before it really has a chance.
So I need to make the resolve of slowing down and dissecting each line in my post-edit mode. One thing I have often read is that I should let the story sit for a few weeks and then go back and reread/edit it. It become fresher and I'm not caught up in the emotion of writing it. I don't tend to do that because of my limited amount of work. The idea then is to get into a cycle of writing. Where I would write a short story, put it aside for a while and then start a new story. Maybe after I wrote the next story or two go back and edit the first one. Write another story then edit the second one and then polish the first one again. This process would accomplish tow things for me. Writing more and producing quality work when I do throw it to the wolves, er readers.
On a side note, thank God it is spring. We had a taste of it a couple of weeks ago, but then it turn cold and snowy. After a couple of weeks of miserable weather, the last few days have been beautiful.
cya laterz
me
For my next project I'm thinking I need to find someone who I can write about and write his or her story. Imagining a scene and then trying to introduce the characters leaves the plot and the emotion flat.
This brings me to my next topic, I usually know what is 'right' or 'wrong' with my stories when I post/give them to people to read. When I get honest feedback I rarely get a criticism or an atta boy that I didn't expect. It is my job then to pour over the items I already know are weak and fix them. Often I'm in such a hurry to be 'read' that I don't take the time to fix these and other minor things and the story falls flat before it really has a chance.
So I need to make the resolve of slowing down and dissecting each line in my post-edit mode. One thing I have often read is that I should let the story sit for a few weeks and then go back and reread/edit it. It become fresher and I'm not caught up in the emotion of writing it. I don't tend to do that because of my limited amount of work. The idea then is to get into a cycle of writing. Where I would write a short story, put it aside for a while and then start a new story. Maybe after I wrote the next story or two go back and edit the first one. Write another story then edit the second one and then polish the first one again. This process would accomplish tow things for me. Writing more and producing quality work when I do throw it to the wolves, er readers.
On a side note, thank God it is spring. We had a taste of it a couple of weeks ago, but then it turn cold and snowy. After a couple of weeks of miserable weather, the last few days have been beautiful.
cya laterz
me
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Monday, April 09, 2007
Idea
In the next couple of days (depending on work), I'm going to write a short story and post it here. It won't revolve around sexual content. To be honest I'm not sure what it is about, I want to write something more than proposals and half-thought out journal entries.
I have a start to it so some of it is reality and not just talk. If you are interested, please keep an eye on the blog and I'll post as soon as I can.
In other news...
Tommy is back from the Army and in town. He looks quite fit and in control of himself. Although he has been militarized. He has a couple of tattoos on each of his arms. Nothing spectacular, but he likes them and they will cover with a short sleeve shirt so when he gets out he can get a job without scaring anyone. Heh.
He gets deployed in Fort Polk, LA at the end of his leave. He seems to be enjoying his time off without someone telling him what he is supposed to be doing every minute of the day.
Otherwise life is going on pretty good. I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with him, because there is a real possibility he will get sent to the Middle East soon. I think we might try to see Grind House tomorrow night. Not sure yet.
Cya laterz
I have a start to it so some of it is reality and not just talk. If you are interested, please keep an eye on the blog and I'll post as soon as I can.
In other news...
Tommy is back from the Army and in town. He looks quite fit and in control of himself. Although he has been militarized. He has a couple of tattoos on each of his arms. Nothing spectacular, but he likes them and they will cover with a short sleeve shirt so when he gets out he can get a job without scaring anyone. Heh.
He gets deployed in Fort Polk, LA at the end of his leave. He seems to be enjoying his time off without someone telling him what he is supposed to be doing every minute of the day.
Otherwise life is going on pretty good. I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with him, because there is a real possibility he will get sent to the Middle East soon. I think we might try to see Grind House tomorrow night. Not sure yet.
Cya laterz
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)